UPDATE UPDATE

I KNOW I haven’t posted anything for literally MONTHS and I FEEL EXTREMELY BAD. As anyone might have guessed, kinda fell off the wagon..binged a bit here and there…but yes, I have decided I will start posting my meal log again. SO, TODAY:

Breakfast: Banana

Snack: Fruit cup

Exercise: 30 mins of blogilates

Lunch: Brown rice cake with hummus, 1 nectarine

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Dinner: Mushrooms, lettuce, pan fried salmon

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Snack: Banana, blueberries

I was planning on completely NOT doing any exercise, since I have PE tmr in the cardio suite, but then my friend said that I was thinking about it, so might as well do it, even if it’s for 5 minutes, still better than nothing. AND ALSO, everything I ate today is quite healthy because I saw this quote yesterday, which said ‘Eat to nourish your body’ or something like that…will post an image of it below. So every time I eat, I have to think that the food that I am eating is to NOURISH my body, to FUEL it, and ultimately this stems from LOVING my body.

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UPDATE UPDATE

Struggles and body image issues

These days, just wow – I’ve been feeling so disgusting. Eating green tea kit kats – 6 per day? Cookies – 5 per day? Nuts – 3 dishes? I can’t even keep up. And this is all in one day. And not even just one day, I’ve had these eating habits of kit kats, cookies & nuts for the past two weeks. I just feel disgusting. I can FEEL my body get fatter, I can SEE it get fatter.

You don’t know what it feels like to stare at the mirror and hate what you see. To look at yourself, bare and all, and be disgusted at your own reflection.

I see my thighs, they’re touching, no matter how hard I tense my glutes or my thighs…they’re still touching.

I see my stomach. It’s bulging out. It’s okay, I’ll eat less tonight so when I wake up tomorrow it’ll be flat like it used to be. I wake up. It’s still bulging out. I still look pregnant. I still look ugly.

I see my face. Maybe if I stick my neck out my double chin won’t show. No, who am I kidding, I can’t talk to people like this. I resume back to my normal stance. Yep, the double chin is still there. Maybe at this angle- no, it’s still there.

I see my butt. Stretch marks all over. As if I had a nasty itch and crazy sharp claws and I just scratched my entire ass. Except I can see the increasing number of stretchmarks. Now there are at least 20 scattered around my butt. I hate it. I hate it so much.

I place my weight toward one hip. The rolls of fat begin. Why is this so uncomfortable? It looks horrible. It FEELS horrible. I didn’t used to be like this. What happened?

I always say okay, I will exercise and eat healthy. But I always fail. There’s always one slip-up. Then two. Three. Four. And soon I can’t keep count.

I’ve tried diets. They don’t work. Even just eating healthy, that doesn’t work for me either. ‘The key is to find recipes which you’ll like and are healthy as well’. No. Doesn’t work. Binge Eating Disorder, thanks a lot.

Struggles and body image issues

Sunflower seed bread, never again… (17/Jan)

Today was a really great day in so many ways: I got so much work done, I ate healthily & uni stuff. I ate pretty well, no regrets!!

Breakfast: Greens, banana & kiwi blended all up! I used the greens from last nights salad because they were very tasteless…and I knew the sweetness of the banana would take over 😀

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Fun fact – I forgot to add soy milk/any liquid tbh to my blender and my blender has different functions, so I clicked the smoothie function which obviously requires liquid of some sort. Then I realised…and poured some soy milk to the blender. I guess I didn’t poor enough for it to become as liquid as water, but I loved the thickness of the smoothie 😀

Lunch: 2 wholemeal slices of bread with scrambled eggs (2 eggs)

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Snack:
– I ate a bite of my mum’s PB sandwich
– Sunflower seed bread with jam
Ok so before I got home, I went to the supermarket and I saw sunflower seed bread! It looked really moist and healthy, and I looked at the ingredients, which seemed reasonably okay – not the healthiest but certainly healthier than other breads out there. I got back home really excited to eat it, and it was totally not what I was expecting. It was just…very salty…strangely enough, which is why I added jam to it in the end. Never again…

Dinner:
– Mixed rice
– Salmon
– 2 pieces of yellow pepper and 4-5 cashew nuts
– Chestnuts
– 2 bowls of soup

I was planning to exercise tomorrow, cuz I wanted to exercise every Sunday…but guess what! I hurt my knee 😦 I hurt it when I was walking down a very steep slope (instead of taking the bus because I wanted to move more). I tried doing a few jumping jacks today to see if my knee would be able to handle it and it hurt a lot. I also planned to go to the elliptical, thinking it would result in less force in my knee, but I researched and it told me best to wait for my knee to recover first since it could make my injury worse. I hope my knee gets well soon so that I can exercise 😦

Sunflower seed bread, never again… (17/Jan)

Massive headache so I’ll write quickly (16/Jan)

I have a massive headache right now, feels like my head is going to explode, so I’ll write really briefly & quickly then I’m gonna sleep. First thing, I bought edamame beans!! I’m so happy hehehe cuz now I have one more healthy snack!! And I can bring this to school as well, since most people are eating this.

Breakfast: Oats, soy milk, banana

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Lunch: Mixed rice & cabbage + mushroom

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Snack:
– Yoghurt + oatmeal squares
– Banana
I’d just like to point out that I had already opened the box of cookies which had individual packs of cookies but I decided against it because I asked myself if it would be worth it and the answer was NO

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Dinner: Salad (raw vegetables + salmon) & 4 dried plums (no pic sorry)

Massive headache so I’ll write quickly (16/Jan)

BED?? (15/Jan)

So today, I realised I am highly likely to have BED, or binge eating disorder. I haven’t asked a nutritionist/dietician because I can’t afford one (lol) but speaking to my friends about it, I eat compulsively and out of control. Soooo I’ve got to keep up these food diaries:

Breakfast: Oatmeal, flaxseed & soy milk
Snack: Nature valley dark choco bar
Super bad choice and I feel sooo guilty for eating this T_T
Lunch: Salad (purple lettuce, corn, peppers, like 1/6 of an egg because my skl salad bar only had that much egg left -____-)
Snack: Plain yoghurt, oats, dark choco (83%), flaxseed

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Dinner: veggies, fish, egg, mixed grain rice, papaya/carrot/chestnut soup, chestnuts inside the soup

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Exercise: Tabata 4 min workout in PE (did not feel anything like 4 min….felt like an hour…)

I’m thinking of whether I should go running tmr cuz I have 2 frees…hmmmmm I’ll see how I feel tmr morning!

BED?? (15/Jan)

Transferring bad habits to the afternoon (11/Jan)

Breakfast: oatmeal, flaxseed, soy milk

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Lunch: My fav salad; went to a place where you could add 4 different types of dishes from around 7-8, I got tomato & basil, pesto pasta, mushrooms, and lastly broccoli

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Snack:
– Wife cake (if you’re not sure what this is, here’s a recipe I just googled so you can see the ingredients. I personally bought wife cake from a store.

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– Mixed nuts
– Cereal: oatmeal squares & unsweetened soy milk

Dinner:
– 3 slices of wholemeal bread: 2 slices with blackberry jam & 1 slice with peanut butter

Snack after dinner:
– Wheat crackers

I tried to transfer my snacking habits (or at least most of it) to the afternoon instead of night. And I TRIED to make my snacking healthier although the wheat crackers failed me T_T

Plans for tomorrow:
– Breakfast: Papaya and/or other fruits
– Lunch: Salad from my school + I have this ‘tea’ thing with my EngLit class where we have to pretend we’re in the Victorian era and all that..complete waste of my school fees right there but yeah I’ll have to eat!! There’s gonna be a ton of temptations so hopefully I can resist them!!
– Snack: Mushroom & egg scramble with wholemeal bread
– Exercise: I mean I’ll TRYYY to fit in a blogilates work out but that’s pretty unlikely considering I have a pile of work to do…I’ll see though!! Maybe it’s a chance for me to manage my time better. I’ll see how tired I am after school

I’m definitely going to eat more than that for snack tomorrow…I just hope I stick to healthy foods

Transferring bad habits to the afternoon (11/Jan)

What You Need to Know About Change and Developing Habits

Interesting post about willpower and habits!

Let's Reach Success

Let's Reach Success, Lidiya KSource

Smiling at one person each day can make you friendlier and more positive about life. It can also make others like you and want to spend more time with you.

Saying something nice like thank you every now and then, or making a little compliment to someone you love, can fix a relationship and make it last a lifetime.

If every week you get up 15 minutes earlier than the previous one, in 2 months you’ll be a morning person, getting up 2 hours earlier than you do now without realizing it or making any effort, and will have more time for yourself that will help you plan your days and get stuff done in the early hours.

If you stop visiting second-hand shops (like I did because it was an awful habit of mine to buy more clothes than I actually needed just because they are so…

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What You Need to Know About Change and Developing Habits