Breakfast: 3 tbsp oats & soy milk
Lunch: Pumpkin & edamame
Amazingly ran out of vegetables in the whole house (how is that even possible…) so PUMPKIN INSTEAD.
Snack: 1 banana, 1 pear, 1 packet of wholewheat crackers
I don’t know what to do when I’ve eaten TWO fruits…and I’m still hungry. I mean if I eat EVEN MORE fruits isn’t that just too much sugar…isn’t it better to switch it up a bit? 😐
Dinner: 3 brown rice cakes, lettuce, mushroom, steamed fish, bean sprouts
Snack: Grapes, chestnuts
Shouldn’t have eaten those chestnuts…I even told myself not to eat those chestnuts…but somehow I ended up eating them anyway…I really don’t know what to do but give in when I have such a strong determination…to eat! 😐
So the day finally came…the day when my binging would relapse. I kept asking myself when I would lose control and day after day went by and I seemed to actually gain control of my diet. Who was I kidding?
Breakfast: Overnight oats (1 tbsp chia seeds, 1/2 cup soy milk, 1/2 cup oats, 1/3 cup water, then next morning add blueberries & walnuts)
Lunch: Mushrooms & mixed grain rice
Snack: 1 nectarine…and many more…including the snacks I ate throughout the day…here’s a compilation:
So..if you add EVERYTHING I ate today, I made another collage so it’s more visual; some photos I used from the internet b/c its easier to visualise rather than writing ‘x5’ or sth on the bottom
Typical binge day…it’s so annoying because I made so much progress so far! I remember eating so much and then thinking “I already ruined my day so screw it, might as well make it the worst day possible”. And the thing that I forgot to do today, is that I forgot to think of how I’m trying to eat healthier and BE healthier because I love myself. Because I deserve to have a nice body. Because I am eating to NOURISH my body.
Instead, today I has the ‘skinny’ mentality. Somehow I totally forgot about the ‘loving mentality’ and I just thought “I’ll never be skinny anyway”.
Tomorrow is a new day. I will not restrict any calories. Instead I will eat healthy, because I am in control of my body.
It’s interesting. I watched a documentary (Hungry for Change) about how we’re actually addicted to food, but the media is just covering it up. We know cocaine and other drugs are bad, but food is surprisingly, a drug. We are addicted to it, and for binge eaters such as myself, we don’t know when to stop.
So today, I realised I am highly likely to have BED, or binge eating disorder. I haven’t asked a nutritionist/dietician because I can’t afford one (lol) but speaking to my friends about it, I eat compulsively and out of control. Soooo I’ve got to keep up these food diaries:
Breakfast: Oatmeal, flaxseed & soy milk
Snack: Nature valley dark choco bar
Super bad choice and I feel sooo guilty for eating this T_T
Lunch: Salad (purple lettuce, corn, peppers, like 1/6 of an egg because my skl salad bar only had that much egg left -____-)
Snack: Plain yoghurt, oats, dark choco (83%), flaxseed
Dinner: veggies, fish, egg, mixed grain rice, papaya/carrot/chestnut soup, chestnuts inside the soup
Exercise: Tabata 4 min workout in PE (did not feel anything like 4 min….felt like an hour…)
I’m thinking of whether I should go running tmr cuz I have 2 frees…hmmmmm I’ll see how I feel tmr morning!
Today was unfortunately not any better than yesterday and in fact WAAAYYY worse…
Started off the day with oatmeal & flaxseed + soy milk
Lunch: I ate a smoked salmon salad
SEE? IT STARTS OFF HEALTHY OK….and then just idk what happened…
After HMCA, I ate 1 bread:
Got back home, ate dinner:
And my dad bought ‘zai’ which is basically tofu marinated in a ton of sugar and other sweet stuff to make it super sweet, not to mention a crap ton of food colouring…
After dinner, I ate: (yes I will make a list cuz there’s just too many)
– The other bread
– Pretty much half the bag of spicy baked squid
– A packet of salty crackers
– A packet of wheat crackers (7 in a pack)
IM SOO FULLLL I don’t know why my self control goes completely out of whack after lunch:( GAH..